Following the IDAHO event in Sheffield, I was moved to get in touch with one of the organisers of the event to see if I could raise some of the problems I found with the event with him.
My first email: (19th May)
Dear [edited out],
I wanted to send you a message following the IDAHO event last Monday,
as its organiser. I am involved in working for transgender equality at
the moment.
I felt the event was a good event, but I was disappointed with a
couple of things around it.
Firstly was the publicity regarding the event. I found out about it
from the 'exposed' magazine, which a friend pointed out to me. I had
to go online to clarify the details of the event, because the advert
there had 'Monday 17th May 2009' printed as the date of the event.
Secondly was the Transgender aspect of the event. I felt it got next
to no coverage during the event, with it being consistently dropped
from being mentioned alongside homophobia, and only one guest speaker
on the matter. The council banner had no mention of such and I was
particularly disturbed that the strongest image of the transgender
community (which I have been thus far unable to find whatsoever)
wasn't the arranged speaker, but [edited out] who from what I gather had
pushed her way into making a comment on stage at the very end of the
event. I don't felt that served the interests of the transgender
community very well at all. As seems to be the norm, GLB events have T
tacked on to it, with little understanding about transgender and
transsexual issues, and it very much felt that way at the event.
It was a very positive event (if a little small for a city the size of
Sheffield) for the gay and lesbian communities however. I think it's
an important event to run and I don't envy the potentially thankless
task of organising such an event. Despite my complaints, I would still
like to thank and congratulate you for the effort organising the event
must have taken.
Yours sincerely,
I got this reply: (24th May)
Many thanks for your e-mail detailing your experience of the IDAHO event which took place on the 17th May, and for your recognition of the potential challenges of organising such an event. If I may, I would like to address the various points of concern you have raised.
Firstly, by our own omission, some publicity material did go out with the incorrect year, though the day and date were correct. We agree that this typing error was unfortunate and made every effort with further distribution and on-line sources to ensure that the correct year was stated. I'm sure you can understand, that, while not an excuse, occasional typing errors make it through any proof reading practices.
We are disappointed to hear that you feel the trans community of Sheffield was not well represented at the event; certainly as each speaker did speak out against transphobia as well as homophobia - every effort was made to ensure both LGB and T communities were equally recognized. We do appreciate and understand your concern over the often lack of recognition of trans communities in events and service provision - but we would like to reassure you that we consulted with, and invited other speakers to offer the trans perspective, who unfortunately could not attend, and in no means merely attempted a tokenistic effort.
The IDAHO event in Sheffield has grown year upon year - gaining in recognition, attendance and contribution - indeed some feedback we have received was that it was bigger, better and more inclusive than an event that was recently held in Brighton - W do appreciate all feedback and endeavour to ensure that each year is more successful than the last. We're really pleased you were able to join us on Monday and hope to see you again next year.
With best wishes
A reply has been sent out today: (28th May)
Thank you for getting back to me, and answering some of the points in my email. I am glad to hear that you were not giving a token effort, I would like to challenge the comment that every speaker spoke out against both transphobia and homophobia; I was at the event and took notes for an independent article I wrote about it, and I specifically noted whom did not mention transphobia at all, this is an issue with each speaker though, and not something I find at fault with you.
May I enquire who you had been in contact with and had invited to speak at the event in regards of transgender and transsexual perspective?
Regards,
Edited to Add: This latest email has been sent an 'out of office' response, delaying further replies until the 14th of June.
28 May 2010
23 May 2010
Fighting the Fears.
A danger, risk, and temptation of transitioning, is that of becoming a 'professional victim'. Hardest to avoid is the feelings that lead to becoming agoraphobic due to a mix of cisphobia and fear for personal safety. A sort of heavy paranoia that settles in over everything and makes the simplest of activities a hard trek through harsh terrain.
On a day like this (the sun is shining) with people seemingly everywhere, is a particularly hard one to push through the fears for something as minor as a shopping trip. I guess that's why it was on my mind as I went to pick up some supplies; it took more than a few deep breaths before I pushed myself out of the door.
Everything was fine, no hassle whatsoever.
Vulnerability is a big thing for me. I'm small, and pretty weak (screw you, myth that all transsexual women are stocky builder types, built like a brick outdoor lavatory). In a fight I'd have to rely on technique, except I don't have any (unless you count 'running the hell away' a technique). I feel vulnerable all the time, not just physically but emotionally too, because so much is wrapped up in people accepting me as who I am, and it only takes a slight knock to put my confidence out of commission for a little while.
It's embarrassing not to pass, shameful even.
Aside from the implications of those things (transsexed people being more vulnerable to violence, and that trans-people are shameful, embarrassing, second class creatures,) I occasionally get called on the possibility that it's all in my head. It's not, but I can see why people say that. The problem is that the infractions of others are often things that cis-people would brush off as minor, trifling things, and that unless you're the victim of these things, you don't notice them at all without looking carefully. Even if you are the victim, you still don't see the extent of it, as it goes on behind your back, out of earshot and out of sight. (When my own mother first came to meet me, she was so conscious of other people, noting their reactions, which she brought up later on, to which I said I hadn't noticed.)
Understand the paranoia yet?
Of the minor trifling things, being misgendered is one of the things that can mean so much more to a trans-person than a cis-person. A cis-person is misgendered, so they correct it, and receive apologies and share a laugh. A trans-person is misgendered, so they correct it, and receive a “but you're not a...” So, rather than face having their identity and gender stripped away from them, they just take it; choosing a scratch over a gaping wound. Occasionally things don't happen this way, but you get the idea.
There's also being stared and looked at under scrutiny, be it because the trans-person in question looks good or not, once people latch on, it's sometimes impossible to shake them, especially as their staring draws your gaze and you feel like their gaze is digging into you and exposing you. What they're thinking is impossible to know, do they think you're really good looking? Are they thinking that you're an abomination and blight on the world? Unfortunately, the best guess leans towards the latter over the former, maybe it's the look on their face, or just a bad vibe, but something about being stared at is unsettling, it's aggressive, whether it's out of curiosity or support.
People generally like to be left alone, unless they've put themselves in a position to be interacted with. Being a trans-person is not waving a big sign around saying “I want people to pay attention to me”. Some might argue that being deviant from the norm invites attention; that if you're going to be different you should expect to have your space invaded and have to represent your 'group'. This is pretty unfair; being ourselves should not mean we have to sacrifice our privacy of self. We shouldn't have to tell you why, tell you the details, tell you what state 'our junk' is in, or tell you about how our friends and family have taken it. If we want you to know about that sort of thing, we'll choose to tell you when we're ready.
The whole thing comes down to something pretty simple: We're men and women trying to get on with our lives with as little fuss as possible, with acceptance and respect for who we are.
On a day like this (the sun is shining) with people seemingly everywhere, is a particularly hard one to push through the fears for something as minor as a shopping trip. I guess that's why it was on my mind as I went to pick up some supplies; it took more than a few deep breaths before I pushed myself out of the door.
Everything was fine, no hassle whatsoever.
Vulnerability is a big thing for me. I'm small, and pretty weak (screw you, myth that all transsexual women are stocky builder types, built like a brick outdoor lavatory). In a fight I'd have to rely on technique, except I don't have any (unless you count 'running the hell away' a technique). I feel vulnerable all the time, not just physically but emotionally too, because so much is wrapped up in people accepting me as who I am, and it only takes a slight knock to put my confidence out of commission for a little while.
It's embarrassing not to pass, shameful even.
Aside from the implications of those things (transsexed people being more vulnerable to violence, and that trans-people are shameful, embarrassing, second class creatures,) I occasionally get called on the possibility that it's all in my head. It's not, but I can see why people say that. The problem is that the infractions of others are often things that cis-people would brush off as minor, trifling things, and that unless you're the victim of these things, you don't notice them at all without looking carefully. Even if you are the victim, you still don't see the extent of it, as it goes on behind your back, out of earshot and out of sight. (When my own mother first came to meet me, she was so conscious of other people, noting their reactions, which she brought up later on, to which I said I hadn't noticed.)
Understand the paranoia yet?
Of the minor trifling things, being misgendered is one of the things that can mean so much more to a trans-person than a cis-person. A cis-person is misgendered, so they correct it, and receive apologies and share a laugh. A trans-person is misgendered, so they correct it, and receive a “but you're not a...” So, rather than face having their identity and gender stripped away from them, they just take it; choosing a scratch over a gaping wound. Occasionally things don't happen this way, but you get the idea.
There's also being stared and looked at under scrutiny, be it because the trans-person in question looks good or not, once people latch on, it's sometimes impossible to shake them, especially as their staring draws your gaze and you feel like their gaze is digging into you and exposing you. What they're thinking is impossible to know, do they think you're really good looking? Are they thinking that you're an abomination and blight on the world? Unfortunately, the best guess leans towards the latter over the former, maybe it's the look on their face, or just a bad vibe, but something about being stared at is unsettling, it's aggressive, whether it's out of curiosity or support.
People generally like to be left alone, unless they've put themselves in a position to be interacted with. Being a trans-person is not waving a big sign around saying “I want people to pay attention to me”. Some might argue that being deviant from the norm invites attention; that if you're going to be different you should expect to have your space invaded and have to represent your 'group'. This is pretty unfair; being ourselves should not mean we have to sacrifice our privacy of self. We shouldn't have to tell you why, tell you the details, tell you what state 'our junk' is in, or tell you about how our friends and family have taken it. If we want you to know about that sort of thing, we'll choose to tell you when we're ready.
The whole thing comes down to something pretty simple: We're men and women trying to get on with our lives with as little fuss as possible, with acceptance and respect for who we are.
20 May 2010
Meeting With Local Councillors
Today I met with one of the three local councillors for my area, as planned.
We talked a lot about a lot of things; I had lost track not too long into the hour and a half long conversation. I mostly dropped as much relevant education into the conversation as possible. Whilst I tried to ensure that I stressed that I could only reliably speak about my own experience so far, I did end up being a bit of a spokesperson, a position I feel inadequate for.
We began looking at a piece of policy taken from Sheffield City Council; an Equality Impact Assessment, regarding financial equality. It was only a snapshot of policy in general, but I was encouraged that transgender issues were not listed under “Lesbian, Gay and Bisexual”, but listed alongside men and women. I was only left with a page, but the policies seemed formulaic. I don't see this as a bad thing though. I used this to talk about employment opportunities and the way things can go for a transgender or transsexual. There is a link in the policy document to the gender trust, a specific gender campaigning group, which from a cursory glance appears a good place to go to if people need information.
I found myself having to explain Cisgendered at one point, as she had never heard the term before. I had to explain the equality side of it, and its necessity as a way to differentiate between transgender and transsexual people, and cisgendered people without making trans people sound like they were not real, less than, or just 'other'. I had to explain about labels and how I felt about them, and I explained that I disliked transgendered as a descriptor of myself (my gender as I see it is fixed, not between or transitioning to the opposite) and that I accept that I am transsexual as my sex is what is transitioning, but when complete, I will regard myself as what would technically be called a cisgendered female. I laid out a general dislike for labelling, and recognise that my dislike leads to a bit of a simplified view of labels rather than what their inferred meaning is (I recognise that trans means to be moving from one to another, and the concepts of gender and sex are fairly fixed, for example).
I also talked about the NHS process too, whilst also not talking about the process I was going through. I specifically mentioned that questions about my own personal sexual transitioning were not very polite, and she agreed with me. While I don't know the entire process myself, I think my understanding was enough to at least be able to outline things. Most notably was the point of the waiting times, whilst much quicker than in the past, is still considered slow.
In between bits we talked about the area, my feelings about what I hoped I could achieve and what I felt would be the best way to proceed onwards. It was something that came up though, was when I talked about the fears I had in the area, that I was called on being potentially too negative about the feelings I had about other people in the area. I had to be very clear at that point, I do have a bit of a negative view of the area, it's a hard fight to stay as positive as I do about it. When every trip out leads to a situation where someone treats me as a sideshow or an amusement, they're not just poking a bit of fun, but poking holes in who I am. As this is a frequent occurrence, it takes a heavy toll on a persons emotional well being, especially if confronting it at the time can lead to much worse happening to you.
So...
The councillor will be looking for more policies regarding transgender and transsexual people, and forwarding them on to myself to look at and comment on. (Mostly I believe I will ask around and get comments from other people too.)
We're going to plan to meet with the manager of a community centre, just by where I live, who will be very supportive and help us establish a project in the area on educating and providing information for people about transsexual and transgender issues. (I will consider myself freelance in this regard, I don't want to be tied to a specific area, especially if I can cover the whole city.)
We shall probably talk more over time as well, as I didn't even begin to go into detail about lots of things. The councillor was very supportive overall, it was a very positive meeting.
We talked a lot about a lot of things; I had lost track not too long into the hour and a half long conversation. I mostly dropped as much relevant education into the conversation as possible. Whilst I tried to ensure that I stressed that I could only reliably speak about my own experience so far, I did end up being a bit of a spokesperson, a position I feel inadequate for.
We began looking at a piece of policy taken from Sheffield City Council; an Equality Impact Assessment, regarding financial equality. It was only a snapshot of policy in general, but I was encouraged that transgender issues were not listed under “Lesbian, Gay and Bisexual”, but listed alongside men and women. I was only left with a page, but the policies seemed formulaic. I don't see this as a bad thing though. I used this to talk about employment opportunities and the way things can go for a transgender or transsexual. There is a link in the policy document to the gender trust, a specific gender campaigning group, which from a cursory glance appears a good place to go to if people need information.
I found myself having to explain Cisgendered at one point, as she had never heard the term before. I had to explain the equality side of it, and its necessity as a way to differentiate between transgender and transsexual people, and cisgendered people without making trans people sound like they were not real, less than, or just 'other'. I had to explain about labels and how I felt about them, and I explained that I disliked transgendered as a descriptor of myself (my gender as I see it is fixed, not between or transitioning to the opposite) and that I accept that I am transsexual as my sex is what is transitioning, but when complete, I will regard myself as what would technically be called a cisgendered female. I laid out a general dislike for labelling, and recognise that my dislike leads to a bit of a simplified view of labels rather than what their inferred meaning is (I recognise that trans means to be moving from one to another, and the concepts of gender and sex are fairly fixed, for example).
I also talked about the NHS process too, whilst also not talking about the process I was going through. I specifically mentioned that questions about my own personal sexual transitioning were not very polite, and she agreed with me. While I don't know the entire process myself, I think my understanding was enough to at least be able to outline things. Most notably was the point of the waiting times, whilst much quicker than in the past, is still considered slow.
In between bits we talked about the area, my feelings about what I hoped I could achieve and what I felt would be the best way to proceed onwards. It was something that came up though, was when I talked about the fears I had in the area, that I was called on being potentially too negative about the feelings I had about other people in the area. I had to be very clear at that point, I do have a bit of a negative view of the area, it's a hard fight to stay as positive as I do about it. When every trip out leads to a situation where someone treats me as a sideshow or an amusement, they're not just poking a bit of fun, but poking holes in who I am. As this is a frequent occurrence, it takes a heavy toll on a persons emotional well being, especially if confronting it at the time can lead to much worse happening to you.
So...
The councillor will be looking for more policies regarding transgender and transsexual people, and forwarding them on to myself to look at and comment on. (Mostly I believe I will ask around and get comments from other people too.)
We're going to plan to meet with the manager of a community centre, just by where I live, who will be very supportive and help us establish a project in the area on educating and providing information for people about transsexual and transgender issues. (I will consider myself freelance in this regard, I don't want to be tied to a specific area, especially if I can cover the whole city.)
We shall probably talk more over time as well, as I didn't even begin to go into detail about lots of things. The councillor was very supportive overall, it was a very positive meeting.
18 May 2010
Sheffield in the Pink: IDAHO 17th May 2010
The international day against homophobia (and transphobia) event held in Sheffield had advertised itself as “Sheffield in the Pink: International day against homophobia and transphobia”. By advertised, I mean, I heard about it from a friend who happened to pick up a Sheffield events magazine. She let me borrow the magazine to be able to promote it a little myself, and so I did.
I had to do a little digging online though to get all the details I needed, the magazine had the date of the event listed as “Monday 17th may 2009”. I did a little double-take at that, it's a bit of a not so minor screw up. The IDAHO webpage didn't have links to any of the events bearing it's name, so in the end it was the council's events website which gave me the accurate times, although not really much more information about the event.
As a transwoman attending the event, I felt slightly out of place. Probably justified by the poor mix of adding transsexual and transgender people to the 'sexuality pile' of LGB, but really, it was because I wanted to hang back where I could see what was going on. I got there a little ahead of time, and was losing my positive impression of how I imagined the event to be. The main banner on the tiny stage was provided by the city council and read “Sheffield City Council Supports Day Against Homophobia” Cool!
I had been warned by a friend that transgender and transsexual issues often got dropped from events like this, and I could see why. Transphobia kept being dropped where homophobia was mentioned by the compère, and the guest speakers, save one, were all from homosexual groups, MP's and politicians, as well as a police officer and a very dramatic clergyman.
The event drew a small crowd, with lots of young people within.
Starting off as the first guest speaker, was Paul Scriven, a Lib Dem and the Council Leader, as well as an openly gay man. His message was one of equality, very positive, albeit rushed, because he had to go for a Lib Dem AGM just around the corner.
Carol Robson, a spokesperson for the transgender community (a mythical creature I've yet to find and interact with) told us of how she was working with south yorkshire police, and left on a very strong note, wishing not for tolerance or to be tolerated, but to be understood and accepted.
Superintendent Rachel Barber of the police delivered a short message, “[We] will deal with homophobia robustly.” Nice! Although transphobia wasn't mentioned. Again.
There was a short presentation from a group “Global” a youth movement focussed on “Gay, lesbian, bi and others.”
There was a Green Party politician, who mentioned human rights and had a global focus. I resonated with the message of “not an illness” but retrospectively lost that when I realised the focus was on homosexuality, and not transsexuality.
Claire Donnelly, a part of Sheffield's LGBT Network. Whose focus seemed to be in creating support for people in council jobs, from a conversation I had with her afterwards.
Amnesty international, Graham Jones, brought forward a petitioning letter to save a gay couple.
Peter Bradley, The Anglican Dean of the Diocese of Sheffield gave a very dramatic speech, expressing shame at the homophobia and transphobia of the church, and was very apologetic, “against all oppression”. He ended his bit with a strong message of “God loves you”.
After that came a Labour MP, Paul Blomfield. He listed the successes of the labour party in terms of equality, letting the crowd cheer after each one. Amusingly, his phone went off, not once, but twice. His message though was very nice: “[to] Stand up together for equality.”
Then came the minute's noise. People inside the town hall building came to windows to wave at the crowd, and then there was a choir who sang a song for us. Unfortunately for me, I was more than ten feet away from them, so I didn't hear a word of it.
We were told that the large Ferris Wheel currently sitting in the middle of Sheffield's city centre would be lit up pink when the evening drew on. I was still in town later in the evening, to find the lighting covered about two metres up a single leg, and didn't stay on constantly.
Then the event ended, maybe. Tia Anna of X-factor notoriety (really, listening to some of the comments of the crowd around me were not positive) seemingly had pushed her way into the billing and made a quick speech after the event had finished. She was dressed for the event in a completely pink outfit (her shoes were slightly too big, I had noticed earlier in the evening). She approached me afterwards, as a transwoman she had spotted and wanted to talk to. She told me she does transgender drag acts, something I could have pieced together from her attire. It was a worry for me, that of the two people who were visible and transgender or transsexual, one left a very strong impression and image on the brain, where the other, didn't. I feel that I would have preferred just seeing Carol Robson as the only transgender representative, being much more casually dressed and not being so stereotypical as the extravagantly dressed Tia Anna.
So, as far as transgender and transsexual support from the event goes, it felt a little lacking. It was a very positive event (if a little small for a city the size of Sheffield) for the gay and lesbian communities however. Not an event I'd recommend for its transgender and transsexual support.
The event was organised by Matt Harrison (unknown affiliation) and Kate Flannery (city council).
I had to do a little digging online though to get all the details I needed, the magazine had the date of the event listed as “Monday 17th may 2009”. I did a little double-take at that, it's a bit of a not so minor screw up. The IDAHO webpage didn't have links to any of the events bearing it's name, so in the end it was the council's events website which gave me the accurate times, although not really much more information about the event.
As a transwoman attending the event, I felt slightly out of place. Probably justified by the poor mix of adding transsexual and transgender people to the 'sexuality pile' of LGB, but really, it was because I wanted to hang back where I could see what was going on. I got there a little ahead of time, and was losing my positive impression of how I imagined the event to be. The main banner on the tiny stage was provided by the city council and read “Sheffield City Council Supports Day Against Homophobia” Cool!
I had been warned by a friend that transgender and transsexual issues often got dropped from events like this, and I could see why. Transphobia kept being dropped where homophobia was mentioned by the compère, and the guest speakers, save one, were all from homosexual groups, MP's and politicians, as well as a police officer and a very dramatic clergyman.
The event drew a small crowd, with lots of young people within.
Starting off as the first guest speaker, was Paul Scriven, a Lib Dem and the Council Leader, as well as an openly gay man. His message was one of equality, very positive, albeit rushed, because he had to go for a Lib Dem AGM just around the corner.
Carol Robson, a spokesperson for the transgender community (a mythical creature I've yet to find and interact with) told us of how she was working with south yorkshire police, and left on a very strong note, wishing not for tolerance or to be tolerated, but to be understood and accepted.
Superintendent Rachel Barber of the police delivered a short message, “[We] will deal with homophobia robustly.” Nice! Although transphobia wasn't mentioned. Again.
There was a short presentation from a group “Global” a youth movement focussed on “Gay, lesbian, bi and others.”
There was a Green Party politician, who mentioned human rights and had a global focus. I resonated with the message of “not an illness” but retrospectively lost that when I realised the focus was on homosexuality, and not transsexuality.
Claire Donnelly, a part of Sheffield's LGBT Network. Whose focus seemed to be in creating support for people in council jobs, from a conversation I had with her afterwards.
Amnesty international, Graham Jones, brought forward a petitioning letter to save a gay couple.
Peter Bradley, The Anglican Dean of the Diocese of Sheffield gave a very dramatic speech, expressing shame at the homophobia and transphobia of the church, and was very apologetic, “against all oppression”. He ended his bit with a strong message of “God loves you”.
After that came a Labour MP, Paul Blomfield. He listed the successes of the labour party in terms of equality, letting the crowd cheer after each one. Amusingly, his phone went off, not once, but twice. His message though was very nice: “[to] Stand up together for equality.”
Then came the minute's noise. People inside the town hall building came to windows to wave at the crowd, and then there was a choir who sang a song for us. Unfortunately for me, I was more than ten feet away from them, so I didn't hear a word of it.
We were told that the large Ferris Wheel currently sitting in the middle of Sheffield's city centre would be lit up pink when the evening drew on. I was still in town later in the evening, to find the lighting covered about two metres up a single leg, and didn't stay on constantly.
Then the event ended, maybe. Tia Anna of X-factor notoriety (really, listening to some of the comments of the crowd around me were not positive) seemingly had pushed her way into the billing and made a quick speech after the event had finished. She was dressed for the event in a completely pink outfit (her shoes were slightly too big, I had noticed earlier in the evening). She approached me afterwards, as a transwoman she had spotted and wanted to talk to. She told me she does transgender drag acts, something I could have pieced together from her attire. It was a worry for me, that of the two people who were visible and transgender or transsexual, one left a very strong impression and image on the brain, where the other, didn't. I feel that I would have preferred just seeing Carol Robson as the only transgender representative, being much more casually dressed and not being so stereotypical as the extravagantly dressed Tia Anna.
So, as far as transgender and transsexual support from the event goes, it felt a little lacking. It was a very positive event (if a little small for a city the size of Sheffield) for the gay and lesbian communities however. Not an event I'd recommend for its transgender and transsexual support.
The event was organised by Matt Harrison (unknown affiliation) and Kate Flannery (city council).
16 May 2010
Writing to your Local Councillors: Part Two
I used the write to them website to send this message to the three councillors for my area:
"I am a Trans-gendered person living in the [edited out] area. I
feel the area is very unsafe for me a lot of the time, and prefer to
stay out of it as much as possible. This interferes with me doing
everyday things, due to the discrimination I feel when dealing with
other members of the public and shop owners in the area. It is not an
easy thing to go through on a personal level, and to suffer intolerance
and ignorance while doing things that are mundane does not make it any
easier; Thankfully however, I have friends and family that support who
I am, and encourage me to carry on living my life.
I wanted to raise this with you this and hope that I might persuade you
to help promote equality and acceptance of gender variant people, in
order to make the area a better place to live for people of genders
outside the norm, and reduce inequality and ignorance in the area in
which I live.
I also wish to raise an issue I had while waiting to be seen by
Sheffield's specialist clinic held by the NHS. From my GP's referral to
having an initial consultation, I was left waiting for seven months. It
is my understanding that this is unacceptable given the nature of my
problems, and the guidelines that the NHS must abide by. Their waiting
list is very long, and they can only take on a limited number of new
cases a month. I am lucky that I am now being seen by them, but the
delays are wholly detrimental to the well-being of individuals on the
waiting list.
Thank you for reading my letter, it is my hope that you can reply
positively to it."
The reply from an independent councillor here:
"Thank you for writing to me.
You will see from the list of names above that I have sent your enquiry on to your Member of Parliament, the Police, the Chief Executive of Sheffield City Council, Sheffield Homes Limited and their officers, and officers of the council.
There does appear to be serious issues that need addressing here regarding your safety, your freedom of choice of lifestyle and your human rights."
He also asked for further contact details so that the people who he forwarded my message to could get in touch with me directly.
So far, I've been contacted by the office of my MP, to give me the contact details of the local councillor, seeing as she has recently replaced the last councillor and might not have had the message. They wished me luck.
I got a surprise knock on the door the next day, from the local police officers who were looking for more details. I couldn't really give them any, but they told me that I could give them vague information and they might be able to help anyway.
I've been contacted by the local housing office, whose equality and diversity policy has broken links (I intend to call them on it shortly) but I've not talked to them in detail yet. (coming soon)
I've not heard from the councillor again yet.
"I am a Trans-gendered person living in the [edited out] area. I
feel the area is very unsafe for me a lot of the time, and prefer to
stay out of it as much as possible. This interferes with me doing
everyday things, due to the discrimination I feel when dealing with
other members of the public and shop owners in the area. It is not an
easy thing to go through on a personal level, and to suffer intolerance
and ignorance while doing things that are mundane does not make it any
easier; Thankfully however, I have friends and family that support who
I am, and encourage me to carry on living my life.
I wanted to raise this with you this and hope that I might persuade you
to help promote equality and acceptance of gender variant people, in
order to make the area a better place to live for people of genders
outside the norm, and reduce inequality and ignorance in the area in
which I live.
I also wish to raise an issue I had while waiting to be seen by
Sheffield's specialist clinic held by the NHS. From my GP's referral to
having an initial consultation, I was left waiting for seven months. It
is my understanding that this is unacceptable given the nature of my
problems, and the guidelines that the NHS must abide by. Their waiting
list is very long, and they can only take on a limited number of new
cases a month. I am lucky that I am now being seen by them, but the
delays are wholly detrimental to the well-being of individuals on the
waiting list.
Thank you for reading my letter, it is my hope that you can reply
positively to it."
The reply from an independent councillor here:
"Thank you for writing to me.
You will see from the list of names above that I have sent your enquiry on to your Member of Parliament, the Police, the Chief Executive of Sheffield City Council, Sheffield Homes Limited and their officers, and officers of the council.
There does appear to be serious issues that need addressing here regarding your safety, your freedom of choice of lifestyle and your human rights."
He also asked for further contact details so that the people who he forwarded my message to could get in touch with me directly.
So far, I've been contacted by the office of my MP, to give me the contact details of the local councillor, seeing as she has recently replaced the last councillor and might not have had the message. They wished me luck.
I got a surprise knock on the door the next day, from the local police officers who were looking for more details. I couldn't really give them any, but they told me that I could give them vague information and they might be able to help anyway.
I've been contacted by the local housing office, whose equality and diversity policy has broken links (I intend to call them on it shortly) but I've not talked to them in detail yet. (coming soon)
I've not heard from the councillor again yet.
Writing to your Local Councillors: Part One
This post is about a chain of emails between myself and one of my local councillors.
I used the write to them website to send this message to the three councillors for my area:
"I am a Trans-gendered person living in the [edited out] area. I
feel the area is very unsafe for me a lot of the time, and prefer to
stay out of it as much as possible. This interferes with me doing
everyday things, due to the discrimination I feel when dealing with
other members of the public and shop owners in the area. It is not an
easy thing to go through on a personal level, and to suffer intolerance
and ignorance while doing things that are mundane does not make it any
easier; Thankfully however, I have friends and family that support who
I am, and encourage me to carry on living my life.
I wanted to raise this with you this and hope that I might persuade you
to help promote equality and acceptance of gender variant people, in
order to make the area a better place to live for people of genders
outside the norm, and reduce inequality and ignorance in the area in
which I live.
I also wish to raise an issue I had while waiting to be seen by
Sheffield's specialist clinic held by the NHS. From my GP's referral to
having an initial consultation, I was left waiting for seven months. It
is my understanding that this is unacceptable given the nature of my
problems, and the guidelines that the NHS must abide by. Their waiting
list is very long, and they can only take on a limited number of new
cases a month. I am lucky that I am now being seen by them, but the
delays are wholly detrimental to the well-being of individuals on the
waiting list.
Thank you for reading my letter, it is my hope that you can reply
positively to it."
I received two responses, I'm choosing to focus on one for this post, I will post about the other response separately. The reply was:
"Thank you for writing to me. I am sorry you have experienced discrimination in [edited out]. As I am sure you know, discrimination is a criminal offence and if you have the names and/or addresses of the people who have discriminated against you, please get in touch with [edited out], the Safer Neighbourhoods Officer at [edited out] Police Station. If you would like to give me this information, I can pass it on for you. As a Liberal Democrat it is both my personal belief and the ideology of my party that it is absolutely abhorrent that gender difference is stigmatised.
On the subject of the way you have been treated by the NHS, you should make a formal complaint through the PALS service which has an office in every hospital. These staff act as advocate for the patient where a hospital service has not measured up. You can also complain to NHS Sheffield in Prince of Wales Road (formerly the PCT) as they are the commissioners for all health services and if their choice of priorities is causing distress, they need to be told.
If you would like to talk to me, either by phone or at a personal visit, please contact me on my home telephone number of [edited out].
Again, please accept my apologies for the distress you have been subjected to."
A positive response, although I felt my itch had not been scratched. So I replied:
"Thank you for the reply, and the suggestions on how to follow up my complaints.
I am very much aware of the criminality of discrimination, but it's a law that is impossible to enforce when the discrimination and offence comes from people I've never met before passing me by on the street. As much as I would love to legally receive justice from the law, it seems impossible to do so without details of the person that I am unlikely to have. I believe the best way around this lies in education, promotion and improved policy to take away stigma against trans-people, and encourage professionals to treat trans-people with equality. There are many websites with information, that I find a little helpful to refer people to, such as www.gires.org.uk but in the everyday, there is very little places that feel safe and welcoming to myself.
I am willing to have a meeting about this particular issue as I feel very strongly that the way trans-people are seen in society and in particular this area is very unfair. I am currently looking into the possibility of getting involved with (or if this is impossible, setting up a) campaigning charities with the hope of educating and informing people, and taking away the hardships that trans-people face in their everyday lives."
I received a reply:
"Thank you for giving me this additional information. I am now able to understand more fully your concerns. On the subjects of both education and a self-organising group for [edited out] and possibly beyond, I wonder whether you would like me to introduct you to [edited out], who manages the [edited out] Forum at the [edited out]. The [edited out] Forum, with money made available from the Council and other charitable organisations, organises and runs projects, some of which fall under a category of Healthy Valley (this one receives funding and support from the 'PCT'). I have worked with [edited out] for a number of years and know that he shares many of the beliefs I and my party share."
We have gone from there to organise a meeting between myself and the councillor, (you don't really need the emails quoting at you,) Which will be happening on May 20th.
I think this has been worthwhile so far. I will keep updating on this after each major event.
I used the write to them website to send this message to the three councillors for my area:
"I am a Trans-gendered person living in the [edited out] area. I
feel the area is very unsafe for me a lot of the time, and prefer to
stay out of it as much as possible. This interferes with me doing
everyday things, due to the discrimination I feel when dealing with
other members of the public and shop owners in the area. It is not an
easy thing to go through on a personal level, and to suffer intolerance
and ignorance while doing things that are mundane does not make it any
easier; Thankfully however, I have friends and family that support who
I am, and encourage me to carry on living my life.
I wanted to raise this with you this and hope that I might persuade you
to help promote equality and acceptance of gender variant people, in
order to make the area a better place to live for people of genders
outside the norm, and reduce inequality and ignorance in the area in
which I live.
I also wish to raise an issue I had while waiting to be seen by
Sheffield's specialist clinic held by the NHS. From my GP's referral to
having an initial consultation, I was left waiting for seven months. It
is my understanding that this is unacceptable given the nature of my
problems, and the guidelines that the NHS must abide by. Their waiting
list is very long, and they can only take on a limited number of new
cases a month. I am lucky that I am now being seen by them, but the
delays are wholly detrimental to the well-being of individuals on the
waiting list.
Thank you for reading my letter, it is my hope that you can reply
positively to it."
I received two responses, I'm choosing to focus on one for this post, I will post about the other response separately. The reply was:
"Thank you for writing to me. I am sorry you have experienced discrimination in [edited out]. As I am sure you know, discrimination is a criminal offence and if you have the names and/or addresses of the people who have discriminated against you, please get in touch with [edited out], the Safer Neighbourhoods Officer at [edited out] Police Station. If you would like to give me this information, I can pass it on for you. As a Liberal Democrat it is both my personal belief and the ideology of my party that it is absolutely abhorrent that gender difference is stigmatised.
On the subject of the way you have been treated by the NHS, you should make a formal complaint through the PALS service which has an office in every hospital. These staff act as advocate for the patient where a hospital service has not measured up. You can also complain to NHS Sheffield in Prince of Wales Road (formerly the PCT) as they are the commissioners for all health services and if their choice of priorities is causing distress, they need to be told.
If you would like to talk to me, either by phone or at a personal visit, please contact me on my home telephone number of [edited out].
Again, please accept my apologies for the distress you have been subjected to."
A positive response, although I felt my itch had not been scratched. So I replied:
"Thank you for the reply, and the suggestions on how to follow up my complaints.
I am very much aware of the criminality of discrimination, but it's a law that is impossible to enforce when the discrimination and offence comes from people I've never met before passing me by on the street. As much as I would love to legally receive justice from the law, it seems impossible to do so without details of the person that I am unlikely to have. I believe the best way around this lies in education, promotion and improved policy to take away stigma against trans-people, and encourage professionals to treat trans-people with equality. There are many websites with information, that I find a little helpful to refer people to, such as www.gires.org.uk but in the everyday, there is very little places that feel safe and welcoming to myself.
I am willing to have a meeting about this particular issue as I feel very strongly that the way trans-people are seen in society and in particular this area is very unfair. I am currently looking into the possibility of getting involved with (or if this is impossible, setting up a) campaigning charities with the hope of educating and informing people, and taking away the hardships that trans-people face in their everyday lives."
I received a reply:
"Thank you for giving me this additional information. I am now able to understand more fully your concerns. On the subjects of both education and a self-organising group for [edited out] and possibly beyond, I wonder whether you would like me to introduct you to [edited out], who manages the [edited out] Forum at the [edited out]. The [edited out] Forum, with money made available from the Council and other charitable organisations, organises and runs projects, some of which fall under a category of Healthy Valley (this one receives funding and support from the 'PCT'). I have worked with [edited out] for a number of years and know that he shares many of the beliefs I and my party share."
We have gone from there to organise a meeting between myself and the councillor, (you don't really need the emails quoting at you,) Which will be happening on May 20th.
I think this has been worthwhile so far. I will keep updating on this after each major event.
Unfortunate Implications
An article of sorts, about the pitfalls of transitioning that people don't realise.
I'll try and list these in such a way that doesn't sound like I'm just whining about it. This is not a 'getting it off my chest' post, it's a 'here is a little perspective' post. It's an education post, that next time you see someone who might be trans, you can relate a little better to them. This isn't a post for family members or friends, it's a post for everyone else. For those that don't know a trans-person, for those that don't know how to react. I'm not going to outline a list of ways for people to interact with trans-people, or tell people how to behave. My aim here is just to say how things are for some or most trans-people.
There are a lot of hardships to undergo while transitioning, but it's our choice right? When we decide to transition, we accept that some things are going to get worse and other things are going to get better. Fair enough, but for some, the choice is between transitioning and suicide, gender dysphoria is that strong that it can lead to depression and suicidal thoughts. To paraphrase something I was told once “I was unhappy, and I decided to do something about it, and if it didn't work out, I could always kill myself”. It isn't a choice at all, it's just who we are, and denying it is unhealthy for us.
It's not easy for people to notice the distinction between sex and gender either; after all, for most people, their sex and gender actually line up, so why do they need to be split up? English fails us a little bit here, because sex and gender are described using the same words. Someone who has a male gender, may not have a male body. There are lots of common thoughts that also show gender traits as the result of bodily sex, but this isn't the case, there are things that only happen because of the body being sexed in one direction, but this does not stop a person from having a differing gender. People's descriptions of others often lean towards describing people by their bodily sex, rather than their gender expression.
Similarly, gender and sexuality are not as wrapped up in each other as much either. Sexual preference can't be determined from the gender or sex of a person. Whether the person in front of you is presenting a male, female, or ambiguous gender doesn't actually tell you anything about their sexuality, even if their gender is different from their sex. On the same note of sexuality, while some people sexualise dressing up in clothes (often fetishistically) that do not belong to their gender, this is different from people who wear clothes to present as their gender. This is difficult to tell sometimes; context is a good indicator, but isn't always right.
Other people's reactions to a transgender person varies. When a person does notice and react there is massive potential to cause hurt, and when the more extreme examples have people reacting violently, this can quickly go from being a bruised ego, to ending up in the hospital. Not everyone reacts in prejudice though, thankfully.
There are some who notice, and make no fuss whatsoever. “It's just another person, living their life.” For some, this is the ideal. You wouldn't make a fuss over someone whose gender and sex matched up, and that's how some want to be treated. Like a person, without the fuss. In some interactions there is the awkward moment of whether or not to use 'he' or 'she' or 'sir' or 'miss', but can be corrected; in general, trans-people tend to prefer the pro-noun of the gender they are presenting as, the ones who don't will correct you.
There are those who want to encourage and support, although it can backfire depending on the person you're talking to, especially if the encouragement is “you're a brave man to dress up as a woman”, it's nice, but it misses the point. It accepts the persons desire to do as they please, but denies their gender identity. Some people do dress up for the fun of it, but if you're talking to someone who is out doing their weekly shopping, it's unlikely they're dressing up for fun. It's very hard to give encouragement to a person who is transgendered in regard to their transgenderism, for a lot of people, their preference is that you don't make a thing out of their gender at all, they are just a man or woman, they don't want to be treated specially because of it.
There are some who treat the transsexual as a side-show. They don't understand why anybody would ever want to dress up in a way that was not in line with their sex. They giggle and make comments between themselves. Then proceed with over the top “oh my god”s and possibly comments made out loud in order to play along in the spirit of humour. From their assumptions and point of view, the comment may well be quite amusing, but, from the perspective of the woman who is transsexual being told “gentlemen first” by other guys waiting in line for a bus has had her gender ignored and feels explicitly insulted. You might say to a transgender person in this situation to grow a thicker skin and/or roll with it, but it is often much more complicated than that, as shrugging it off or playing up to the joke is like denying who they are, and accepting that they will never be considered 100% their gender, which can feed a depressive attitude.
Prank-like acts against transgendered people are fairly common, from the drunk group daring a member to go and 'touch' a transgender person, to more outright damage to belongings such as having eggs thrown at them, or buckets of water thrown over them. Whether the acts come from a playful mockery or outright prejudice varies, but these prank-like acts are still very distressing to a person, when they are played out by someone who you do not even know, and has made a snap judgement against you based on your gender presentation,
There are people who are outright prejudiced against transgendered people. Whose shock and disgust will lead them to treat a transgendered person with little respect and no welcome. People like this involved in businesses will make it very unlikely a transgendered person would want to return again. In social situations, the transgendered person may take their socialising elsewhere. Unfortunately, sometimes transgendered people are asked to leave for disturbing other patrons, or are forcibly removed from premises by security personnel for no reason. For whatever reason these people hate transgender people, it is my hope they learn to see us as people, and not the cause of problems or something to be expelled from society. As examples, take the neighbours who go inside when their transitioning neighbour goes to sit out in their back garden, or the couple who at a close distance, immediately crossed the road instead of passing a transgendered person, who had given them lots of room to pass by.
The most damaging problem is the threat of violence. If not alcohol related, it is down to people whose conception of a transgendered person allows them to take matters into their own hands. An amusing story I was told was of an unknown person dressed female, who was sexed male (it is unknown if they were male or female gendered, but I will take her as woman) on a train, who was approached by a very drunk man, who proceeded to try chat her up. When it occurred to him that the woman was male sexed, he acted violently towards her. He was restrained and held back in another compartment in the train while the woman moved to a different carriage. He caused a complete fuss, damaging the train seating and making lots of noise. One of the comments was “He shouldn't be allowed out, what kind of example is he setting to children” Which was seen as highly amusing considering the man's behaviour.
It is worth pointing out, that these things are not so much isolated incidents as the norm. To quote something written in an online forum, “[Transitioning] is enough for me to have to start getting used to a daily barrage of insult and threat. … [who] see the need to put me right 'with extreme prejudice'”. There are many cases of violence being averted through outside intervention, but not everyone is so lucky. The abuse also carries on in online circles too, where a person who is transsexual shares that detail, with more misunderstandings and myths being perpetuated by people who wish to make online activity less pleasant for transgendered people.
A lot of the discriminatory behaviours described here are actually illegal, but legal recourse is very difficult to pursue. A lot of the time, the information given in statements to the police can't actually be used to make an arrest or issue a warning, and the frequency of the smaller incidents are just easier to let wash under the bridge than chase. In some areas it is actually better to let things go, because chasing it could lead to much worse being aimed at you. As some transgendered people prefer to live in their gender without having to identify themselves as transgendered, the action can also lead to them 'outing' themselves, leading to more distress.
There are much more subtle attitudes and problems too. The levels a transgendered person feels discriminated against can lead to them being overly worried about how people will treat them. The risks are still much higher than for a person whose gender and sex matches, however. Transitioning can lead to a lot of lifestyle changes to avoid and circumvent risks. To quote: “What I do know is that a simple walk through [town] in [the] early evening is now an activity that needs planning and is preferably done in company.”
On a much more personal level a lot of transgender people report problems with friends and family members. It is hugely common for families to disown or deny the gender of their child if it steps out of line with their bodily sex. If the person is young enough, or still living with their parents, it can cause more friction as they feel pushed out of their home, sometimes resulting in homelessness. Family pressures can cause more undue stress, especially in family events. Imagine receiving a birthday card with the wrong name in it, or being told you weren't welcome at a loved ones funeral. Very often a transgender person can be left with no support network, because friends and family just don't accept them for who they are. It can sometimes be a case of having to build a support network of friends from scratch, because of being transgendered.
Also on a personal level are intimate relationships. It can be very difficult for a person who is transgendered to find and a healthy intimate relationship. Those in relationships at the time of transitioning often find it to place a heavy strain on the relationship. Some people do stay together, but for the majority the size of their dating pool shrinks drastically. It can be very difficult to find someone who fits their sexuality, who also sits within the sexuality of the potential partner. This can be somewhat of a minefield. A woman who is transsexual may find that straight men and gay women are put off by their past, and the possibility of dating a gay man or straight woman is out because they are not a man. Finding a bi-sexual person to be with is one of the easier ways to meet someone, but this is also hard to do. One of the bigger hardships is avoiding people who have fetishised transgender people and treat them as a sex-object instead of as a person. It's just another thing that can bring low mood to a person who is transgendered.
The list carries on though; Employment can also be a huge thing for some people. Transitioning while at work can be a very harrowing experience if one doesn't have a supportive boss or supervisor, or even colleagues. One may have to face discrimination every day, and feel driven out of their job because of co-workers, or because suitable provision of facilities is not made for them. Transitioning at work could very well lead to becoming unemployed. An employer cannot legally fire someone for being transgendered, but it is possible to make someone so uncomfortable that they quit to get away from it. Once unemployed, things get worse, as finding appropriate work is hindered by the transgendered status and the lack of support for trans-people in finding work. Employers do discriminate based on gender presentation and can get away with it because they do not have to give actual details of why a job was refused. This is subjective, but discrimination in this manner does happen.
A woman walks into a public toilet, finds a stall, then goes to wash her hands and touch up her make-up in the mirror; she is then approached by other women or by a security guard and asked to leave. Another women uses the toilets at work, to be complained about to her manager. These women are both women who are transgendered, they legally have every right to use the women's bathrooms, but are discriminated against, forced to use the men's toilets (or not at all as that is really not an option,) and generally given grief about something so essential to everyday life. Using the other gendered toilets is a denial of their gender and they are not disabled, so using disabled bathroom provision is also unfair as they are not disabled, and a disabled person may need it more.
Portrayal of people who are transsexual in modern media is also unfair and inaccurate in most cases. While some would say that the exposure is useful, but in most cases portrays male to female transsexuals as heavily masculine and basically a mockery of femininity. Trans-people put a lot of effort into displaying themselves as their preferred gender and more often pass. Those that don't also try to find ways to pass better. No woman who wants to be taken seriously as a woman would portray themselves in an overly masculine fashion. The problem of lack of support for trans-people means that some trans-people do not actually learn appropriate dress for their age and/or situations, especially if they have also lost their support network. This is a huge problem in itself, in that the impression from media may override any accurate education about trans-people, the things they go through and their lives in general.
Modern media does propagate some myths and assumptions about the transgender person, and misinformation is rife about trans-people.
Sexuality is not decided by gender, and transsexual expression is not a sexuality. Trans-people have as diverse a sexuality spectrum as the rest of the population. Transsexuality is not for men who want to have socially acceptable relationships with other men, or are having trouble reconciling their homosexuality. Some become less sexually active because of their transition. Similarly, many people do not transition for sexual reasons, many take a dim view of being seen as the same as 'shemales' as depicted in pornography, whom I cannot comment on in depth. Sadly, the sex industry is sometimes the only option for a trans-person, and the young and gender dysphoric are especially vulnerable to being drafted into it, especially if they face familial estrangement.
There is also the view that people who are transsexual are trying to 'fool' people into believing that they are the gender they are expressing themselves as. This is particularly frustrating, as they are not trying to fool anybody, they just wish to be accepted as the gender they are expressing themselves as. They don't want to be put under increased scrutiny to discover their birth sex, they want acceptance that they are who they say they are. In some cultures the transgendered person is a recognised concept, and in history there are examples of people who were transsexual.
Many just wish to have a regular life just like everyone else, without the heavy discrimination and prejudice levied against people who are transgendered. We are not lesser people or broken, and we do not wish to be treated that way by society. Hopefully the media will stop treating trans-people as acceptable targets, and depict them more realistically in the future.
There is a high likelihood that a person who is transgendered will fall into depression, and that the transgendered and transsexual minority are especially at risk of suicide. Transsexuality itself is a medical condition, not a mental disorder. It is a condition that is treated, and not a disorder to be cured, it is very offensive to suggest to many that it is a disorder. There is currently campaigning to remove transsexuality from the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders similar to how homosexuality was once recorded in there as a mental disorder.
It's my hope that people will stop treating us as second class citizens, discriminating against us with prejudice, unjustly and unfairly, and I hope that you, reading this, will see that transsexual and transgender rights are something that still need fighting for and promoting.
I'll try and list these in such a way that doesn't sound like I'm just whining about it. This is not a 'getting it off my chest' post, it's a 'here is a little perspective' post. It's an education post, that next time you see someone who might be trans, you can relate a little better to them. This isn't a post for family members or friends, it's a post for everyone else. For those that don't know a trans-person, for those that don't know how to react. I'm not going to outline a list of ways for people to interact with trans-people, or tell people how to behave. My aim here is just to say how things are for some or most trans-people.
There are a lot of hardships to undergo while transitioning, but it's our choice right? When we decide to transition, we accept that some things are going to get worse and other things are going to get better. Fair enough, but for some, the choice is between transitioning and suicide, gender dysphoria is that strong that it can lead to depression and suicidal thoughts. To paraphrase something I was told once “I was unhappy, and I decided to do something about it, and if it didn't work out, I could always kill myself”. It isn't a choice at all, it's just who we are, and denying it is unhealthy for us.
It's not easy for people to notice the distinction between sex and gender either; after all, for most people, their sex and gender actually line up, so why do they need to be split up? English fails us a little bit here, because sex and gender are described using the same words. Someone who has a male gender, may not have a male body. There are lots of common thoughts that also show gender traits as the result of bodily sex, but this isn't the case, there are things that only happen because of the body being sexed in one direction, but this does not stop a person from having a differing gender. People's descriptions of others often lean towards describing people by their bodily sex, rather than their gender expression.
Similarly, gender and sexuality are not as wrapped up in each other as much either. Sexual preference can't be determined from the gender or sex of a person. Whether the person in front of you is presenting a male, female, or ambiguous gender doesn't actually tell you anything about their sexuality, even if their gender is different from their sex. On the same note of sexuality, while some people sexualise dressing up in clothes (often fetishistically) that do not belong to their gender, this is different from people who wear clothes to present as their gender. This is difficult to tell sometimes; context is a good indicator, but isn't always right.
Other people's reactions to a transgender person varies. When a person does notice and react there is massive potential to cause hurt, and when the more extreme examples have people reacting violently, this can quickly go from being a bruised ego, to ending up in the hospital. Not everyone reacts in prejudice though, thankfully.
There are some who notice, and make no fuss whatsoever. “It's just another person, living their life.” For some, this is the ideal. You wouldn't make a fuss over someone whose gender and sex matched up, and that's how some want to be treated. Like a person, without the fuss. In some interactions there is the awkward moment of whether or not to use 'he' or 'she' or 'sir' or 'miss', but can be corrected; in general, trans-people tend to prefer the pro-noun of the gender they are presenting as, the ones who don't will correct you.
There are those who want to encourage and support, although it can backfire depending on the person you're talking to, especially if the encouragement is “you're a brave man to dress up as a woman”, it's nice, but it misses the point. It accepts the persons desire to do as they please, but denies their gender identity. Some people do dress up for the fun of it, but if you're talking to someone who is out doing their weekly shopping, it's unlikely they're dressing up for fun. It's very hard to give encouragement to a person who is transgendered in regard to their transgenderism, for a lot of people, their preference is that you don't make a thing out of their gender at all, they are just a man or woman, they don't want to be treated specially because of it.
There are some who treat the transsexual as a side-show. They don't understand why anybody would ever want to dress up in a way that was not in line with their sex. They giggle and make comments between themselves. Then proceed with over the top “oh my god”s and possibly comments made out loud in order to play along in the spirit of humour. From their assumptions and point of view, the comment may well be quite amusing, but, from the perspective of the woman who is transsexual being told “gentlemen first” by other guys waiting in line for a bus has had her gender ignored and feels explicitly insulted. You might say to a transgender person in this situation to grow a thicker skin and/or roll with it, but it is often much more complicated than that, as shrugging it off or playing up to the joke is like denying who they are, and accepting that they will never be considered 100% their gender, which can feed a depressive attitude.
Prank-like acts against transgendered people are fairly common, from the drunk group daring a member to go and 'touch' a transgender person, to more outright damage to belongings such as having eggs thrown at them, or buckets of water thrown over them. Whether the acts come from a playful mockery or outright prejudice varies, but these prank-like acts are still very distressing to a person, when they are played out by someone who you do not even know, and has made a snap judgement against you based on your gender presentation,
There are people who are outright prejudiced against transgendered people. Whose shock and disgust will lead them to treat a transgendered person with little respect and no welcome. People like this involved in businesses will make it very unlikely a transgendered person would want to return again. In social situations, the transgendered person may take their socialising elsewhere. Unfortunately, sometimes transgendered people are asked to leave for disturbing other patrons, or are forcibly removed from premises by security personnel for no reason. For whatever reason these people hate transgender people, it is my hope they learn to see us as people, and not the cause of problems or something to be expelled from society. As examples, take the neighbours who go inside when their transitioning neighbour goes to sit out in their back garden, or the couple who at a close distance, immediately crossed the road instead of passing a transgendered person, who had given them lots of room to pass by.
The most damaging problem is the threat of violence. If not alcohol related, it is down to people whose conception of a transgendered person allows them to take matters into their own hands. An amusing story I was told was of an unknown person dressed female, who was sexed male (it is unknown if they were male or female gendered, but I will take her as woman) on a train, who was approached by a very drunk man, who proceeded to try chat her up. When it occurred to him that the woman was male sexed, he acted violently towards her. He was restrained and held back in another compartment in the train while the woman moved to a different carriage. He caused a complete fuss, damaging the train seating and making lots of noise. One of the comments was “He shouldn't be allowed out, what kind of example is he setting to children” Which was seen as highly amusing considering the man's behaviour.
It is worth pointing out, that these things are not so much isolated incidents as the norm. To quote something written in an online forum, “[Transitioning] is enough for me to have to start getting used to a daily barrage of insult and threat. … [who] see the need to put me right 'with extreme prejudice'”. There are many cases of violence being averted through outside intervention, but not everyone is so lucky. The abuse also carries on in online circles too, where a person who is transsexual shares that detail, with more misunderstandings and myths being perpetuated by people who wish to make online activity less pleasant for transgendered people.
A lot of the discriminatory behaviours described here are actually illegal, but legal recourse is very difficult to pursue. A lot of the time, the information given in statements to the police can't actually be used to make an arrest or issue a warning, and the frequency of the smaller incidents are just easier to let wash under the bridge than chase. In some areas it is actually better to let things go, because chasing it could lead to much worse being aimed at you. As some transgendered people prefer to live in their gender without having to identify themselves as transgendered, the action can also lead to them 'outing' themselves, leading to more distress.
There are much more subtle attitudes and problems too. The levels a transgendered person feels discriminated against can lead to them being overly worried about how people will treat them. The risks are still much higher than for a person whose gender and sex matches, however. Transitioning can lead to a lot of lifestyle changes to avoid and circumvent risks. To quote: “What I do know is that a simple walk through [town] in [the] early evening is now an activity that needs planning and is preferably done in company.”
On a much more personal level a lot of transgender people report problems with friends and family members. It is hugely common for families to disown or deny the gender of their child if it steps out of line with their bodily sex. If the person is young enough, or still living with their parents, it can cause more friction as they feel pushed out of their home, sometimes resulting in homelessness. Family pressures can cause more undue stress, especially in family events. Imagine receiving a birthday card with the wrong name in it, or being told you weren't welcome at a loved ones funeral. Very often a transgender person can be left with no support network, because friends and family just don't accept them for who they are. It can sometimes be a case of having to build a support network of friends from scratch, because of being transgendered.
Also on a personal level are intimate relationships. It can be very difficult for a person who is transgendered to find and a healthy intimate relationship. Those in relationships at the time of transitioning often find it to place a heavy strain on the relationship. Some people do stay together, but for the majority the size of their dating pool shrinks drastically. It can be very difficult to find someone who fits their sexuality, who also sits within the sexuality of the potential partner. This can be somewhat of a minefield. A woman who is transsexual may find that straight men and gay women are put off by their past, and the possibility of dating a gay man or straight woman is out because they are not a man. Finding a bi-sexual person to be with is one of the easier ways to meet someone, but this is also hard to do. One of the bigger hardships is avoiding people who have fetishised transgender people and treat them as a sex-object instead of as a person. It's just another thing that can bring low mood to a person who is transgendered.
The list carries on though; Employment can also be a huge thing for some people. Transitioning while at work can be a very harrowing experience if one doesn't have a supportive boss or supervisor, or even colleagues. One may have to face discrimination every day, and feel driven out of their job because of co-workers, or because suitable provision of facilities is not made for them. Transitioning at work could very well lead to becoming unemployed. An employer cannot legally fire someone for being transgendered, but it is possible to make someone so uncomfortable that they quit to get away from it. Once unemployed, things get worse, as finding appropriate work is hindered by the transgendered status and the lack of support for trans-people in finding work. Employers do discriminate based on gender presentation and can get away with it because they do not have to give actual details of why a job was refused. This is subjective, but discrimination in this manner does happen.
A woman walks into a public toilet, finds a stall, then goes to wash her hands and touch up her make-up in the mirror; she is then approached by other women or by a security guard and asked to leave. Another women uses the toilets at work, to be complained about to her manager. These women are both women who are transgendered, they legally have every right to use the women's bathrooms, but are discriminated against, forced to use the men's toilets (or not at all as that is really not an option,) and generally given grief about something so essential to everyday life. Using the other gendered toilets is a denial of their gender and they are not disabled, so using disabled bathroom provision is also unfair as they are not disabled, and a disabled person may need it more.
Portrayal of people who are transsexual in modern media is also unfair and inaccurate in most cases. While some would say that the exposure is useful, but in most cases portrays male to female transsexuals as heavily masculine and basically a mockery of femininity. Trans-people put a lot of effort into displaying themselves as their preferred gender and more often pass. Those that don't also try to find ways to pass better. No woman who wants to be taken seriously as a woman would portray themselves in an overly masculine fashion. The problem of lack of support for trans-people means that some trans-people do not actually learn appropriate dress for their age and/or situations, especially if they have also lost their support network. This is a huge problem in itself, in that the impression from media may override any accurate education about trans-people, the things they go through and their lives in general.
Modern media does propagate some myths and assumptions about the transgender person, and misinformation is rife about trans-people.
Sexuality is not decided by gender, and transsexual expression is not a sexuality. Trans-people have as diverse a sexuality spectrum as the rest of the population. Transsexuality is not for men who want to have socially acceptable relationships with other men, or are having trouble reconciling their homosexuality. Some become less sexually active because of their transition. Similarly, many people do not transition for sexual reasons, many take a dim view of being seen as the same as 'shemales' as depicted in pornography, whom I cannot comment on in depth. Sadly, the sex industry is sometimes the only option for a trans-person, and the young and gender dysphoric are especially vulnerable to being drafted into it, especially if they face familial estrangement.
There is also the view that people who are transsexual are trying to 'fool' people into believing that they are the gender they are expressing themselves as. This is particularly frustrating, as they are not trying to fool anybody, they just wish to be accepted as the gender they are expressing themselves as. They don't want to be put under increased scrutiny to discover their birth sex, they want acceptance that they are who they say they are. In some cultures the transgendered person is a recognised concept, and in history there are examples of people who were transsexual.
Many just wish to have a regular life just like everyone else, without the heavy discrimination and prejudice levied against people who are transgendered. We are not lesser people or broken, and we do not wish to be treated that way by society. Hopefully the media will stop treating trans-people as acceptable targets, and depict them more realistically in the future.
There is a high likelihood that a person who is transgendered will fall into depression, and that the transgendered and transsexual minority are especially at risk of suicide. Transsexuality itself is a medical condition, not a mental disorder. It is a condition that is treated, and not a disorder to be cured, it is very offensive to suggest to many that it is a disorder. There is currently campaigning to remove transsexuality from the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders similar to how homosexuality was once recorded in there as a mental disorder.
It's my hope that people will stop treating us as second class citizens, discriminating against us with prejudice, unjustly and unfairly, and I hope that you, reading this, will see that transsexual and transgender rights are something that still need fighting for and promoting.
First Post on a New Blog
This blog's been made to be a place to post about Transsexual and Transgender issues, and more specifically the attacking of negative and transphobic attitudes and ideas in society.
It will have posted to it a few different things, including posting about campaigning against transphobia to MP's as well as dealing with local government to try and promote transsexual and transgender peoples rights in the immediate area too.
On with the show...
It will have posted to it a few different things, including posting about campaigning against transphobia to MP's as well as dealing with local government to try and promote transsexual and transgender peoples rights in the immediate area too.
On with the show...
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